Saturday, March 6, 2010

Rounders: Livin’ Large at the Houston Rodeo

Too much work and not enough play means this girl has a lot less time to exercise than I would like. While I used to roam the athletic fields, tracks, and gyms with speed, prowess, and agility, my spare time these days generally finds me at the computer. Or on the couch. Or deeply engaged in nap. That is, when I have spare time at all.

But 2010 is a new year, a big year. A round year in which I will get less round. I will rise from the couch to strengthen, tighten, and tone. I will make smoothies, veggies, and purees -- or healthy dinners like this one. My muscles will grow, my spare tire will shrink. Small children will fear me. And I can do it, too.

But then? I take my students to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo and see dastardly attractions like this. Oh, holy hell.

Curiosity 1, Will Power 0. Was that deep-fried Snickers bar worth it? Prolly not, but it sure was fun, an indiscretion I can overcome. The bad news is there’s danger lurking around every corner at the rodeo, shark-like bucking broncos ready to pounce on unsuspecting patrons who lack the discipline to turn down lovers like fried cheesecake and a side of beef on a stick. Because then we found the Frito Pie stand. Ahhhh, Frito Pie. I haven’t had one of those since my youthful days on swim team, when we used to nosh on Frito Pie, Fun Dip, and Pixie Stix before totally rocking the 400-meter medley. Are they still as tasty as they once were? Absolutely. Curiosity 2, Will Power 0. [Sigh]

Yes, that’s a funnel cake in the background. And what. I hadn’t realized that this year’s event is sponsored by the devil: A few moments of ecstasy in exchange for an evening of regret. Thank you, Houston Rodeo, for limiting your your temptress delights to a mere two weeks per year. My glut and gut are in your debt.